Are you part of a community that experiences similar difficulties?
Do you find that simply talking about those problems doesn’t bring permanent solutions or the relief that you seek?
Life constantly throws things at us; having the resilience to respond with equanimity and clarity is what determines our well-being.
Sharing your stresses in a support group, even the daily small frustrations, can be profoundly helpful, bringing new perspectives and opportunities for growth and a connection with the other group members.
We practice EFT, focusing, grounding and breath exercises, self-compassion and mindfulness as we reflect and share within the confidential group space.
A cost-effective option compared to individual sessions. The same as individual sessions, these groups are completely confidential.
Invite me to host a support group in your community, for example:
– Parents’ group
– Dealing with Divorce
– New mothers’ group
– Coping with serious illness
– Trauma recovery group
– LGBT support group
– Grieving and loss support, or similar.
These groups are held in person at your venue or online via Zoom. We decide together if we hold them regularly; weekly, twice a month or monthly.
Or you may prefer a stand-alone workshop delivered to your team, tailored to specific topics of interest, for example:
– Confidence and public speaking
– Understanding emotional health and developing emotional intelligence (EI).
Confidence and Self-Esteem are terms that are often used interchangeably and can be perceived to be similar in meaning. And one can understand why, by the inherent connection; boosting self-esteem leads to greater confidence. Confidence in one area can lead to confidence in other areas. And greater confidence can sometimes serve to boost one’s self-esteem.
Essentially, however, they have very different meanings.
The word confident stems from the Latin root word fid meaning “faith” and thence confidere, meaning “to have full trust”. So self confidence means faith and trust in self. Trust related to action, our faith in ourselves that we can succeed at doing something. Confidence is ‘domain specific’, which means that you can be confident in one aspect of your life, but not at all confident in another. For example, you could be confident about being a great cook but not at all confident about swimming. “I can effortlessly prepare dinner for 6 people but I can’t swim to save my life!”.
On the other hand, the word esteem derives from the Latin aestimare, meaning “to determine the value of, or appraise”. Self-esteem, therefore, is our appraisal of our own worth. How much we inherently value, and therefore respect ourselves, determines our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, how we relate to others and the external world. Along with how we allow the external to see us and behave toward us.
It’s usually easier to build confidence than to build self-esteem. Being good at something brings rewards and praise, yet it only refers to that at which we excelled. No matter how many awards one receives, it is still possible to feel unlovable. One could also use confidence as a mask; it’s possible to be highly self-confident in certain areas yet internally carry a deep sense of low self-worth. Therapies that address root causes of these feelings, like psychodynamic counselling and EFT, can go a long way in making long term change.
So what does it mean to have a healthy mix of confidence and self esteem? It doesn’t mean we feel good about ourselves all the time, however it does mean that we are more able to adapt to the ups and downs of life. When we value ourselves enough, we also allow ourselves to be valued and respected by others. We have clearer boundaries with people and situations. All of this allows us to be more flexible in our responses to life, no matter what it brings.
Negative Self-Talk is one of the obstacles to self-esteem and confidence.
What are we saying to ourselves? This is a process of awareness, being mindful of what we are thinking.
Very often, our words may have originated from a parent, sibling, teacher, or someone else who had a big impact on us in our childhood. Our power now lies in realising that even though the original voice may have belonged to someone else, it has now become our voice, our self-talk. The good part? If it belongs to us, we can change it.
Only we have the power to change our current limiting beliefs.
Some steps we can take to develop a a healthy mix of confidence and self esteem:
Focus on Strengths: We are all capable of doing some things. Focus on what we can do as opposed to things we cannot. A credit for trying. Pats on the back (to ourselves, really!)
Seeing the process: Accepting ourselves on the path to improvement, not only when we have achieved our goals.
Take Risks: New experiences seen as opportunities to learn rather than win or lose situations. Seen this way, we open ourselves up to new possibilities. Otherwise, we turn every new choice into a possibility for failure, and stand in the way of our own personal growth.
Become aware of our self-talk: Only when we know what we are thinking can we start to change it. For example, when we catch ourselves expecting perfection, reminding ourselves that we can’t do everything perfectly (no one actually can), that it’s only possible to try to do things in the best possible way. This allows us to accept ourselves in this moment, while still striving to improve.
Self-Evaluate: Learning to assess our own achievements. Over-dependence on others’ opinions only results in confusion and indecisions. Focusing on how we feel about our work/behaviour/project etc., gives us a stronger sense of self. Our power is ours. Developing our intuition is a good way to access how we feel about situations/people/ourselves.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
What would you do differently in your life with an improved sense of confidence and self-esteem?
Get in touch with me for a free 20 minute consultation or to book a session:
Are you living your best life? If not, what’s getting in the way?
Let me help you resolve stress, increase confidence, and live a life that is meaningful and satisfying to you.
Specialising in recovery from trauma, relief from chronic pain and anxiety, I can also help if you’re experiencing panic attacks, performance issues, relationship struggles, parenting stress, and issues of grief and loss, personal crisis or finding direction including a career change.
My therapeutic approach is integrative, which means I integrate body-oriented approaches including EFT therapy, bilateral stimulation, mindful focusing, breath work and movement with traditional talk therapy in my practice.
Research shows that ultimately our stresses and limitations are held not only in our mental narratives but also in our physical bodies; that both somatic, as well as cognitive approaches, are essential for healing, recovering and making positive life changes.
This integrative approach allows me to meet your specific, individual needs in our work together. I aim to create a safe, supportive, non-judgmental environment, so you can voice your concerns while feeling heard.
Wherever you are at right now, I believe in you.
I am fully invested in doing my part to help you connect to and use your inner resources. So you can start to move forward and start living your life in a way that is most meaningful and satisfying to you.
“The greatest gift is the freedom to be who we really are through the journey of understanding ourselves.“
Physical symptoms, acute and chronic health issues
A mind-body-social approach to physical health. If you’re struggling with physical health issues, we can work together to help you find relief. Along with pain management techniques, we will work together to resolve specific stressors, so your body can start to heal and recover optimally.
Addressing any worries before surgery or after a medical diagnosis can also help outcomes. Read more…
As Dr. Gabor Maté says, “The physiology of one individual cannot be separated from the psychological and social environment.”
Workshops & Groups
Working in groups can be a powerful way to access change within you. It can often bring new perspectives to help you see your situation a new light. Sharing and listening to others can help to know you’re not alone in your experience.
“We shall not cease from exploration,
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we stand
And know the place for the first time”
– T.S. Eliot
I hold a Masters in Counselling (Australia), am an Accredited Certified EFT Practitioner, Trainer and Mentor with EFT International, a META-Health Master Practitioner with MHI, and a registered yoga teacher (RYT®) with Yoga Alliance.
Member of EFTi, MHI, The Hong Kong Professional Counselling Association (HKPCA) and the Australian Counselling Association (ACA).