According to the American Psychological Association:
“Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. While these feelings are normal, some people have difficulty moving on with their lives.”
Having worked with clients from all walks of life who have suffered some form of trauma (including refugees from Africa, the headmistress of a school and a businessman, among others), it is apparent that it is an individual’s subjective experience that determines whether an event is or is not traumatic.
Jon Allen, psychologist and author of Coping with Trauma: A Guide to Self-Understanding says that “Psychologically, the bottom line of trauma is overwhelming emotion and a feeling of utter helplessness. There may or may not be bodily injury, but psychological trauma is coupled with physiological upheaval that plays a leading role in the long-range effects”.
Basically, trauma is determined by the experiences and resilience of the survivor. Different people could experience the same event where one undergoes severe trauma and another remains psychologically uninjured. Therefore it is not the event that defines the trauma but the emotional and psychological make up of the individual.
Additionally, specific aspects of a situation or event will affect each person differently. Which is why addressing individual root causes of trauma will result in more long-term healing effects.
While it may be apparent what it feels like to live with the consequences of past trauma on a daily basis, we don’t usually have the information we need to understand what exactly transpired in our minds and bodies at the time of the trauma. We suffer mental, emotional and physical symptoms as a direct consequence of how the trauma changed the development of our body-mind.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) coupled with counselling has proved effective in providing true emotional freedom from all types of trauma; accidents, injury, childhood trauma, abuse, PTSD, rape, sudden loss or bereavement.
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives”
How would you move forward in your life if you could deal with and resolve the trauma you have experienced?
Get in touch with me for a consultation or to book a session:
Sitting with emotional discomfort is difficult. We all have strategies to cope with/run from emotional pain.
This is not surprising, as usually, this is what we have been taught, albeit unintentionally. Don’t cry, have a sweet; don’t be sad; stop making such a fuss; it’s not so bad; just get on with it… sound familiar? Not only do we not like feeling pain, we don’t like to see loved ones in pain either, which is often the origin of these sentiments. And having learned this as children, it becomes how we act from our subconscious space as adults.
However, true freedom ultimately comes from embracing our emotional pain, from sitting with the discomfort. This requires awareness, and patience with ourselves, as we reprogram our reflexes – to hurt, pain, anger, stress – into mindful reactions.
In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown (Ph.D., LMSW), research professor & author says: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy… Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques, also known as ‘tapping’) effectively releases negative feelings and emotions that have been impacting people for years, and helps to instil new beliefs which lead to more conducive ways of living. We open up to enhanced states of well being, and feel better, work better, live better. Watch a video or read more about EFT here.
Tap Into Gratitude with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Mindfulness and Meditation
Held every month as a Gratitude Practice.
Join any session…and attend regularly to cultivate and deepen your practice, and enjoy the value of working with a group of like minded people.
This series in now over, thanks to all who attended through 2015!
“The root of joy is gratefulness… It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” ― Brother David Steindl-Rast
Religions, philosophies, and age old wisdom have long held that gratitude is not only an indispensable human virtue, but an integral component of health, wholeness, and well-being.
Science has also slowly but surely come to the same conclusion; much scientific research now proves that cultivating gratitude has a large number of benefits. Gratitude improves psychological, emotional and physical well being, and it also leads to stronger relationships and communities.
Studies done by Prof. R. Emmons (University of California), reveal that:
In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
Many studies show that five-minute a day gratitude journal can increase your long-term well-being by more than 10 percent… which is the same impact as doubling your income!
Gratitude also strengthens our emotions: being grateful reduces negative feelings, helps us to have happier memories, and helps us to bounce back from stress.
Based on the concept that the root of joy is gratefulness, and on research that proves the multiple benefits of a regular practice of gratitude, this is an experiential and interactive workshop.
We will use EFT and Meditation to cultivate and deepen our sense of gratitude, delving into something new and exploring different aspects of gratitude every month. In the last workshop we discussed Dr. Dispenza’s concept of being grateful before the event – an interesting and thought provoking approach.
The goal of the workshop is to cultivate simple ways to bring more joy into our lives, and see how that can help to alleviate symptoms of stress and anxiety.
Our fast paced lives have turned us into shallow breathers. Check your breath now: how are you breathing?
Take a deep inhale all the way down to your abdomen.
Exhale all the way out.
And then do it again.
Deep breathing brings many blessings:
Relaxes in the body, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety
Improves circulation of blood and oxygen in the body (fewer wrinkles, imagine!)
Increases energy, physical and mental
Reduces fear and pain
Cleanses the blood of toxic stress chemicals
Improves power of mental concentration and observation
Breathing is managed subconsciously, which is great because that means we don’t have to remember to breathe. But know that we can send calming signals to our bodymind by taking control and consciously changing how we breathe.
EFT operates on the premise that no matter what part of your life needs to change for the better, there are unresolved emotional issues in the way. Even for physical issues, chronic pain, or medical conditions, research shows that emotional stress can impede the natural healing potential of the human body.
EFT is a mind-body technique that is safe, gentle, and non-invasive. It combines a gentle touch with conscious attention while we verbalise our thoughts and feelings. We tap with our fingertips on acupressure points on the hands, face and body while focusing on an issue we wish to resolve.
EFT combines the physical benefits of acupuncture with the cognitive and linguistic benefits of conventional talk therapy. This somatic-cognitive approach addresses the individual as a whole, providing a greater scope to heal, recover and to make positive changes in our lives.
EFT allows us to release and transform uncomfortable feelings like anger, hurt, guilt, fear or grief which may be affecting our daily lives. Using this technique helps to become aware of the negative thoughts and beliefs behind our emotional experiences, so we can change them to more helpful ones.
This powerful technique is often referred to as a psychological version of acupuncture, without the needles. The simple process of tapping on acupressure points on the body while bringing attention to the issue we want to resolve has the effect of changing the intensity of the uncomfortable emotions.
EFT helps with emotional as well as physical pain. Unresolved negative experiences reside as triggers and disruptions in our mind and body. The physical symptoms we feel from those disruptions (for example, tightening of chest, clenched stomach, heart racing, etc), become attached to the memory of that experience and affect the way we see the world, until we clear that disruption. Properly applied, EFT balances our autonomic nervous system and realigns our neural pathways; this disconnects the physical discomfort that we attach to negative feelings and memories, which often helps to remove the original symptoms.
The EFT premise is based on the view that the more unresolved emotional issues you can clear, the more equanimity and emotional freedom you will have in your life.
EFT has yielded remarkable results for relieving emotional and physical distress, and often works when nothing else will. Since it does not involve drugs or other medical interventions, it is different from conventional medical approaches, and is beginning to gain wider and wider recognition within the mainstream medical community.
Watch a video introduction to EFT here (by Gary Craig, founder of EFT):
Watch Professor Tony Stewart, a specialist in public health, talking about EFT on BBC News:
EFT has proven effective with a wide range of both physical and emotional issues. EFT Can Help to:
Diminish anxiety and anxious fears and feelings
Release and transform painful, uncomfortable feelings like anger, guilt, grief, fear, etc.
Heal the effects of emotional trauma, including PTSD symptoms
Diminish cravings for foods and addictive substances
Resolve emotional eating and weight issues
Address relationship problems
Gain clarity to make decisions
Relieve symptoms of insomnia
Increase self-esteem, self-empowerment and confidence
Improve or even eliminate chronic physical discomfort or pain
Enhance performance in any area; sports, musical, artistic, professional, sexual, etc.
Resolve financial blocks
Increase energy and productivity
Empower children, parents and families
Benefit the lives of animals
Move us beyond negative, self-limiting thoughts and beliefs toward positive change
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl
EFT: News, Science and Research
PTSD Treated Successfully in 10 Sessions or Less: Kaiser Permanente is one of the largest hospital systems in the US, taking care of more than 10 million patients each year. Kaiser’s peer-reviewed publication, The Permanente Journal, recently published practice guidelines for using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) with patients diagnosed with PTSD (Church, Stern et al., 2017).
Larry Burk, M.D., writes about EFT going mainstream, like how the APA has finally granted continuing education credits for psychologists to study EFT tapping, also known as energy psychology.
Nick Ortner, writing for the Huffington Post, talks about the science behind EFT in his article, Breakthroughs in Energy Psychology, citing research which confirms that tapping on specific meridian points has a positive effect on cortisol levels.
Is EFT only an energy based technique?
It is a combination of acupressure, talk therapy and modern psycho-therapeutic tools like NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). The affirmations used in EFT are derived from NLP, and the 9 gamut procedure is similar to the process used in EMDR.
EFT also includes statements on self-acceptance – in therapy, the way we talk to ourselves is one of the most important tools in changing thought and behaviour patterns.
Is EFT safe?
It is completely safe and there are no known negative side effects.
Is EFT a distraction technique?
Distraction is “a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else”. EFT requires a complete focus on the problem or issue throughout the session. Affirmations and reminder phrases are also used to keep a focus on the specific issue.
Why do we affirm the negatives in EFT?
Sometimes people are resistant to focusing on the negative while tapping. Either for fear of feeling the feeling, or fearing this will attract more negativity, or some other similar reason.
But one is already feeling these feelings. By identifying then vocalising them, one is bringing up that energy in the body and clearing the negative feelings, instead of suppressing them and having them subconsciously run one’s life. Expressing the negative statements serves to clear them energetically from the body-mind system.
Once you let go and clear, then you have room to bring in what you choose to feel instead. EFT brings one’s energy back to balance so negative feelings don’t stay there.
I have two beautiful boys, ages 10 and 12. Unfortunately I do suffer from anxiety and I started to notice that my children were experiencing the same symptoms but I was in denial. After much procrastination I eventually attended Falguni's Parenting Workshop. I really wish it had not taken me so long to attend. Her session provided me with all the tools needed to manage my anxiety and to teach my children. My boys are about to start a new school soon so it has been so wonderful to instill the tapping techniques to manage their stress and anxiety. Thank you Falguni for not only changing my life, but also my children.
Safe and supported
My session with Falguni was wonderful. Her warm and calm energy immediately made me feel completely comfortable with her. She guided me through the technique in a way that was so open and nurturing, it felt like I was just hanging out with a good friend - I was able to delve deeper into my personal issues in a safe and supportive environment. After our session I felt lighter, relaxed and more at peace with myself.
I like EFT a lot, it is a tool to create a space for me to look deep into myself, to my emotions and issue. And Falguni is a great healing, thanks for her loving and positive energy, and trust that allows the highest good to happen to me.
Blissful pregnancy with EFT workshop
I feel a lot more confident in having natural childbirth after attending the EFT for Pregnancy Workshop. The visualisation technique is a very nice way to connect with my baby. It brings joy to me every time when I visualise a health baby inside my tummy.
Works from the heart
Falu is a very professional and effective EFT therapist, that truly works from the heart. I can highly recommend her going to see her for some sessions, if you want to bring about lasting change.
Tinnitus for 2 years, resolved
I have been suffering from tinnitus in my left ear for 2 years now and recently it got much worse. It was so stressful and I didn’t know what to do about it. I saw Falguni with this symptom and I am still amazed at the sessions and how powerful it has been. The way Falguni connected my past experience with the current physical symptoms was just amazing!
Falguni never made any of her own interpretations but rather gave me space to express myself and talk about my experience and emotions. I always felt heard, understood, excepted and never judged. Understanding how my symptoms could be connected added a whole another meaning and purpose to a traumatising experience from the past. It has since been less painful and I carry less anger, fear and sadness. My symptoms are fading away now. Falguni is both, compassionate and efficient, direct and gentle. She seems exceptional at inspiring self-acceptance and gratefulness. I cannot thank Falguni enough for adding another perspective and helping me become more accepting and joyful person. I would highly recommend her to anybody and have already referred my friends to see her.
Highly recommend the 6 week support group
I decided to join this 6-week support group as I was looking for more clarity in my life.
Falguni is extremely skillful in finding common theme among participants, which allowed me to feel connected. Also by hearing challenges of others, I felt that I was not special (in a good way!).
I am now able to deal with my day-to-day challenges with more awareness. My children have equally benefited from my learning.
I highly recommend this program to anyone.
Amazing EFT workshop
I have attended a few sessions now with Falguni and at the end I always feel more uplifted. My issues seem to resolve and dissolve into thin air. Falguni always gets right into the problem and seems to hit the nail on the head 100%. Thank you for yet another amazing workshop!
Workshop on overcoming procrastination
The workshop on overcoming procrastination took me to deeper levels of self-awareness. It helped me identify the roots of this feeling which surprised me! I feel freer and more inwardly confident.
I worked with Falguni for over a year at Christian Action (Refugee and Asylum Seeker Support). She not only gave the vulnerable clients I referred very attentive support, I also had a session with her. During that session I felt safe, supported and that Falguni was completely confidential. I felt my clients were in excellent hands after that experience.
Taraka Sticha (Bach Ed, MA SW and PG Arts Therapy)
Falguni Mather’s gratitude workshop was a real eye-opener.
She asked questions that made each of us in the group think hard and also reflect upon our own lives, and our role in our own well-being.
Falguni sought and succeeded in giving us a system through a series of steps to maximize our own evaluation of ourselves and turn it and keep it positive.
I left feeling very upbeat and am intent on returning.
Information/training session for staff
I would describe the information/training session that Falguni ran for the staff at Christian Action (Refugee and Asylum Seeker Support) as powerful, and the organizational benefit was that the staff became closer and more attuned with each other. The staff profited personally from learning the techniques, which some of us started to use regularly.
47 years of phobia gone!
Falguni's one-on-one sessions and workshops, both of which I've experienced, have been extremely effective for me.
I have overcome my fear of cockroaches. Panic, a rush of blood, hastened breathing, anxiety, a constriction, a breathlessness. My fear of cockroaches may be laughable to some, to me, it was real and terrifying. 47 long years I bore with it. Whew!!! now, it's gone.
Falguni's warm, nurturing manner, her completely non-judgemental attitude and her unique ability to be able to look at different perspectives effortlessly make sessions with her a treat. And make her a healer-therapist who's hard to come by. A rare gem.
I have been greatly changed by each session
Falguni's approach to body/mind work is truly integrative of all her skills and knowledge. She works with an intuitive response to your needs and issues. Using breath, EFT and talk therapy, she supports you in moving through the multiple layers of mind until you can reach the core of your own patterning. Her technique offers you greater insight and immediate release from old self-narratives as you gain greater access to your own sense of agency. I have been greatly changed by each session with Falguni and would recommend her even to seasoned practitioners.
MS symptoms lighter, physical and mental shift
My sessions with Falguni have helped me realize how much fear, stress, anxiety I have suppressed and carried with me through my entire life, which in turn have manifested into my recent physical symptoms, heart issues, blood pressure, thyroid problems, & even MS that I've had for sometime now.
Falguni has shown me to tap when I feel any kind of negative emotions like stress, fear, anxiety even physical pain whether it be my heart palpitations or my thyroid or any any other symptom I am feeling. I clearly feel a shift now, not just in my mental state but also physically, when I use EFT.
I cannot thank her enough for healing me through this rough patch & helping me come out a stronger more positive & happier person!
I am new to EFT, but not the therapy. Within three short EFT sessions with her, Falguni had me accessing levels of awareness and making deep connections that I've never had in any of my previous work. Now I tap all the time! And am so excited to see what new things surface.
EFT Parenting Workshop
Through Falguni I've learned to apply the EFT technique with my three children in order to help them manage their emotions and the stress that comes with all the challenges faced in growing up. Falguni talks through how she uses the technique with her own children and so as a teacher she is incredibly relatable.
This certainly will benefit my children and myself as I parent them.
Tinnitus symptoms virtually disappeared
Falguni's work with EFT is exceptional, on my recent visit to HK I had several sessions with her and the results were no less than amazing! I have suffered with Tinnitus for many years and after just a few sessions with Falguni where she was able to tap into the root cause of my symptoms, they have virtually disappeared! I would recommend Falguni without hesitation.
Bladder problem for over 15 years resolved
I was having problems with my bladder for more than 15 years. I used to go to the bathroom a lot and could not release all the urine. At night I always have to wake up many times and push, and it was annoying and painful on my ovaries and bladder. I did all the medical checks possible and none of them gave me a diagnosis.
I did a META-Health session with Falguni and just after my first session I saw a big change on my condition. I had found that my ovaries were inflamed and during the session with Falguni we worked with the emotional aspects that might be contributing to the situation, releasing them with EFT. After having only one session I noticed that I didn't need to go to the bathroom as often and did not have to push as before. Also the first night after the treatments I only went to the bathroom once.
Now after three sessions with Falguni even my lower abdomen looks decongested and I feel a lot lighter. And the original problem have not come back. I am really amazed how a problem that now one knew what it was or how to treat is basically gone with the therapies she worked on me.
Grateful for the 6 week support group
I am so glad I joined the EFT 6 weeks support group. After finishing the EFT training some time ago, I did not always practice regularly and that was exactly the confidence booster I needed to reimplement EFT in my life. Falguni did a great job at leading the group, involving everyone, always supporting us and making us feel comfortable. I feel I could work safely on an issue and arrived to a resolve point. I realised how beneficial it is to be working in a group. I am very happy I took that time for myself, magic always happens in EFT and I could not have wished for a better facilitator. Thank you again!
EFT for phobias workshop
Interesting and compact workshop to explore methods and tools to work with phobias. I would recommend to others.
EFT support through breast cancer
My life felt as if it was in turmoil. I had been told I had breast cancer and the words alone sent a fear through my body that made me feel so weak … I felt as if my body collapsed and I was unable to cope with this news.. I attended EFT sessions with Falguni and I felt my mind ease as I learned how to address my fears and actually take control and move my thoughts in a more positive and healing way.. my attitude to what was happening to me also changed for the better and life became normal again for me.
I am so happy and eternally grateful for EFT and I think it is something we should all do as there is nothing harmful in the sessions only the good that it does to enhance our lives.
EFT Tapping Circle
Falguni's Tapping Circle is like an emotional spa where my heart feels lighter and more alive every time I come out of the session !
Though it is a group tapping session, where each participant comes with different issues at hand, Falguni is so skilled at finding common thread that she manages to make it relevant to everyone. Her warm, empathic, and no-nonsense kind of approach, without making it airy-fairy, makes one of the most worthwhile one hour for me.
Public speaking anxiety gone
I have worked as a Social Worker for nearly 20 years and was initially skeptical about the benefits of EFT. I entered my first session with Falguni with a degree of apprehension. However, Falguni's warm re-assuring approach allowed me to relax and focus on the treatment.
It was just over 10 days before I was due to present a conference paper and could feel waves of anxiety rushing through my body each time I thought of myself before an audience. Falguni skilfully enabled me to define and locate my fears and apprehension during the session and also taught me tapping exercises.
As I sat listening to my fellow panel members, awaiting my turn to present, I tapped, I was introduced, and for the first time, ever, I actually enjoyed presenting and felt elated by the experience!
EFT for Conscious Parenting workshop
An interesting course with Falguni which provided some very good examples about parenting challenges and a new technique to deal with these challenges. Thank you.
I have been led in such a supportive way through my struggles and find that I am able to cope so much better in my life, thanks to my continuing sessions with Falguni. Thank you for being there.
For both, emotional and physical problems
Falguni Mather is an excellent EFT practitioner, she understands immediately the issue of the patient, she knows how to advice to improve the problem and how to live daily life better. She is very knowledgeable and she loves her work so much. She is able also to solve also physical problem. She is very kindness and her technique is very efficient solving the issue quickly.
I highly advise to visit her for emotional and physical problem that affect daily daily life person.
Are you living your best life? If not, what’s getting in the way?
Let me help you resolve stress, increase confidence, and live a life that is meaningful and satisfying to you.
Specialising in confidence and self-esteem, relief from chronic issues and recovery from trauma, I also help clients with stress, anxious feelings, low moods, relationship problems, grief, performance issues, phobias, life transitions and finding direction including career change.
Incorporating fundamental principles of traditional talk therapy with somatic approaches, I will help you to address the full spectrum of your experience. I aim to create a safe, supportive, non-judgmental environment, so you can voice your concerns while feeling heard.
Research shows that ultimately our stresses and limitations are held not only in our mental narratives but also in our physical bodies, and that both, body oriented therapies as well as cognitive approaches are essential for healing, recovering and making positive life changes.
In my experience no single form of therapy is apt, or even adequate in all situations, and my integrative approach allows me to meet your specific and individual needs in our work together.
Individual Sessions :
Wherever you are at right now, I believe in you. I am fully invested in doing my part to work with you, so you can connect to, and use your inner resources, allowing you to live your life in a way that is most meaningful and satisfying to you.
Physical symptoms, Chronic Pain:
My integrative body-mind-social approach enables me to work with you regardless of what difficulty you are experiencing. If you’re suffering from chronic issues and or physical symptoms and can’t find a solution or relief, chances are there are an underlying unresolved aspects. I work together with you to reveal triggers and work with pain so you can release energy and stuck tension in the body to allow your body to heal. As Dr. Gabor Maté says, “The physiology of one individual cannot be separated from the psychological and social environment.”
Workshops & Support Groups:
Working in groups can be a powerful way to access change within you. It can often bring new perspectives to help you see your situation a new light. Clarity brings new solutions. Sharing and listening to others helps to ease a sense of isolation as you build a connection with other members. Same as individual sessions, groups and workshops are confidential. Consider attending the 6 Week Support Group or consider getting together a group in your workplace or community, for people experiencing similar issues. A cost effective way of accessing support.
I hold a Masters in Counselling (Australia), am an Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner with EFT International, a META-Health Master Practitioner with MHI, and a registered yoga teacher (RYT®) with Yoga Alliance.
Member of EFTi, MHI, The Hong Kong Professional Counselling Association (HKPCA) and the Australian Counselling Association (ACA).